Memories
This series of images is called “Memories,” my painfully intimate self-portraits. For me, they are visual poetry born in the depths of my soul. These photographs explore the dualities in my life: the light and the shadows; the times when love and pain are one and the same; the closed eyes that see all, the open mouth from which no words can come forth; being vulnerable, not knowing how to defend myself, the masks that I wear to protect myself, the agony of slowly pulling these masks off, one by one; what I am able to see, as well as what I am blind to, unable or unwilling to face, but that, nonetheless, is clearly evident in my images. Masks and eyes, whether open or closed, always have been very important in my life, though I did not realize their true significance until I worked through this series of photographs over a period of nearly three years. My images emerge from a world that is oneiric, where the distinction between the dream state and reality is frequently vague and overlapping; they express how I am reborn, like the Phoenix, from the ashes and destruction throughout my life.
My haunting images deal with the different layers of reality; they are created by layer upon layer of photographs, up to 60 carefully selected images, involving time exposure and photographs that are intentionally out of focus. When an image truly is out of focus and is allowed to flow over time, the Universe brings me clarity and light, despite the pervading darkness that at times seems to permeate the essence of my being.
Caitlin Roberta Sabo